Nanny Share Ideals
Little in life is "ideal,” but there have been aspects of many shares and private care engagements that have come very close. I never give up hope that one day, I'll find a care position that combines all of those best aspects. If your family is it, you might have to run me off after a few years, because I'll never want to leave your employ! Even if your family isn't it, reach out anyway, because I know there's something I'm going to really appreciate about working with both of your children and families as well.
Tuesday through Thursday, with at least 6 hours between 7:30 am-6:30 pm. The "best" share would be part-time and long-term: ideally, I would meet the children within a few months of when they were born, and they would remain in my care weekly, to grow and learn until they were 3-5 years old.
Two or three families, with one child each. In a perfect scenario, the children are within 3 months of age of one another. While having children of different ages in a share is very feasible, I find that it results in twice the planning of activities, but only half the attention and energy needed to carry them out with each child of a differing age
All parents are warm, honest, intelligent and kind. They love their child dearly, and are thrilled when other people love their little one as well. They trust me to provide excellent care for children, to take my opportunity to provide such care as both a privilege and a responsibility, and they have very little interest in micromanaging our day. Trust and respect between all members of a share is very important to me.
Parents have an interest in arts or sciences, share these interests with their infants or young children, and want me to do the same.
Parents have a sense of humor about their families and appreciate that I often find much to laugh over in my hours with their children. They value and. enjoy the anecdotes and observations I share throughout our day.
Families are thrilled that their children spend so much time outside when we are together: in the yard, at the beach, on nature trails, at parks and playgrounds. Digging, climbing, planting, swinging, running and reveling in the sunshine, wind and rain. I once described my day with three-year-olds to a supervisor at the Peggy Notebaert Nature Museum, where I was both a volunteer and a contractual employee (he had noticed us outside by the pond with our paints and our magnifying glasses in the butterfly garden early one day). When I was done describing our morning filled with yoga by the pond, a breakfast picnic of freshly baked whole grain bread, homemade butter made by the toddlers and strawberry jam (put up by me), bird watching, flower identification and plein air painting, his mouth hung open for a moment before he said "that sounds really… idyllic." When I work long-term with children, the idyllic is my ideal. I take every opportunity to show children what is beautiful and precious in the natural world around them, and every opportunity to teach to the whole child. My ideal families would expect no less.
My favorite families have embraced that I encourage their children to think expansively, critically and laterally from a very early age and my future "ideal" nanny share families would be just the same.
You are all unafraid of your child using public transportation, and also value that I will expect your child to walk. There are so many bonding and teachable moments that have taken place on buses and trains with my care kids over the years. It's a great time to read books about the places we're going or have been, to point out things of interest in the cityscape around us and to give them the opportunity to share their own observations with me. I was recently asked by a dad why I left his 20 month old son’s stroller in the driveway, how I managed to get him out of it. I explained that he never rides in the stroller with me, and that being strapped in greatly impedes his ability to engage with and learn from his environment. In the few months we were together (only once a week), the little boy's vocabulary exploded, he became able and willing to walk, run, climb, explore and play all around the downtown Mountain View area, began napping independently, gave up his pacifier, took more interest in healthy meals and even had a successful bowel movement iin the toilet on our last day together. Because of greater independence to explore, he was exposed to more language as I described objects and events of interest to him, and he was willing to expend more physical energy to draw my attention to those things. Using more energy increased his thirst and gave him a greater appetite for his noon meal, and a greater need to rest deeply afterwards. Because he was well-hydrated, well-fed and learning more to communicate, I was able to correctly predict his toileting needs. His parents were impressed by his willingness to give up his stroller, but both shared that they loved that I gave him opportunities to experience riding on public transportation for our morning excursions.
You love the pictures and updates that I send throughout the day, and you love that I love to do it! There are so many incredible moments during my time with children, and I'm always positive that you would rather be doing the fun things we do than sitting in your office. I do what I can to keep parents (and grandparents!) connected to their children during the day, and it makes me feel so appreciated and valued when families enjoy and engage with those efforts, to the degree possible during the work day. Even in a temporary childcare engagement or when with a child I may see only occasionally, I try to document the authentic joy, beauty, triumphs, concentration, inspiration and even the frustrations of your child's day.
The share would take place in a single designated host site, so that on weeks I needed to bring supplementary toys, books, etc to further explore some topic of interest, I wouldn't have to worry about bringing them somewhere else later on. Part of my success in working with children and families comes from establishing predictable routines, thoughtful planning and being very, very organized. I would also be absolutely thrilled if there was enough space to have a designated play/work room set aside for the children so that I would know exactly where to look for the materials we would need during activities and transitions.
All parents would be happy to provide such materials as would be necessary for a given project, activity or learning experiences (paper, glue, books, etc). In an ideal world, one or both families also have memberships to a local zoo, nature center, play area, etc. that I may use during the week with their little ones. When I don't feel that I have to worry over the cost of providing experiences and activities (and securing reimbursement), I am able to focus much more fully on helping children to absorb and observe what's going on around them, and to engage in spontaneity to meet interests and teachable moments swiftly.
I love to work with parents who speak to their children-- I spend much of my time in their infancy engaged in what appears to be one-sided conversation. It's so exciting when babies begin to join in, and I love when parents feel that it is important for them to engage their children in a similar manner by modeling appropriate, expressive speech from the very earliest days of their lives..
Families who plan to, or are willing to try signing with their preverbal infants and toddlers. Another reason I enjoy working with children so much is that I do everything in my power to give them a way to express themselves. A 10-month-old infant may very well have a sense of humor! You never know unless you show them how to show you what they need, think, see, feel and desire.
My best families have always been very ready about communicating any concerns they have about their child or the care I provide in ways that are courteous, direct, consistent and respectful. At the end of the day, your child is still your child, and you must be willing to express your values to me, so that I can encourage them in appropriate ways while you are not home. One of the most trying employment situations recently was with a family in which the parents were unable to decide on, articulate or stick to their own principles when it came to their sons. I am very skittish around instability and inconsistency, and it is the biggest source of frustration whenever I am not fully satisfied working with a family.
Ideally, both parents at the host-home work out of the house. I know many people work from home, but often in the past (even prior to Covid), I have found that parents want to spend more time chatting than I am really comfortable with during the day. I appreciate that families want to know more about me, but I'm also very focused on the children during the day and don't perform as well when my attention is divided. I'm also much less likely to let myself be silly and high energy if I am worried about our marching band or rodeo play disturbing a parent's concentration or conference calls. I have been fortunate enough that since Covid, several families have been able to witness first hand that there is an amazing difference in the ways their child will behave for me, and the ways they immediately begin to behave the moment they see or even hear a parent in the immediate environment during the day.
A high value placed on early literacy and a text rich environment are always huge factors in my perfect shares: I love to read, and I love to work with families who love to read as well. I have over 700 physical children's books, maintain a subscription to Epic! Books, and have simply started referring to my children's book collection as "my habit." I don't think there are rehab programs for bibliophiles, and believe me, I am a pusher. It is well established among many children for whom I have cared that "we're only getting three books" is often code for "we're taking home the whole library!" I will read to your child in French, Spanish, English and Italian, should you desire and often sing or sign along with the English text. We will read inside and outside, in the tub and at the table. I have even looked up from our books when reading at the library or playground to discover that other children and parents have been slowly easing over to hear our stories better. The best comment came from a dad in one of my favorite Philadelphia families one evening, when he told me they were listening to me read (recite from memory while turning the pages) “Fox in Socks” to their 2 and 4 year old girls as they got ready to go out: “Ms. Elaina, we both stopped to listen from up there. I have never heard anyone read Dr. Suess like that!” Some of my nanny kids have wanted to sit and be read to for hours. However, I now put a 40 minute cap on our reading, twice a day, so we have time for everything else!
My ideal nanny share has parents who not only speak, sing and read to their children, but do it in other languages! Or, at minimum, are very enthusiastic about exposing their children to a language beyond English through music, literature and opportunities to interact with other children and adults who are polylingual.
Must love dogs (and other animals)! I truly feel pets are a wonderful teaching tool, and am always happy to work with families who love Fluffy and Finley, Tweety, Bunbun and Rover as much as they love Dick and Jane. Children love to watch and learn about animals, and having early exposure can teach them to be compassionate, responsible and confident in expressing themselves and their personal boundaries (like when Rover really wants to kiss you, and you really don't want anymore kisses). Having a pet in the home is in no necessity, but having an open, respectful and curious attitude about the value of animals and what they can teach is. Much of children’s music, literature and programming features animals and insects, and they present many opportunities for concrete learning when we are out in the world.
As I expressed, nothing in life is ever truly perfect. But I might be perfect for your family, and you all might be perfect for me!