I do not perform "light housekeeping duties"

Is there even a single definition of what "light housekeeping duties"  actually means? I am somewhat less than what has come to be considered a "normal nanny," in that, under absolutely no circumstances, do I perform any duties related to the care or keeping of your home during the hours that you have employed me for the care and keeping of your children (even when they are napping). Truthfully, I am closer to (though not technically) a governess. I spend unpaid hours of my personal time planning and preparing activities to engage and educate my care children, and then spend the time we are together implementing and adapting those planned activities. I go back to my own home and clean up any messes I've made prepping materials to use during the day (and often any messes visiting children have made). I do not support allowing young children to form the belief that they are not responsible for their own belongings and items: I place a great value on aiding the development of autonomy, personal responsibility and self-help skills. I never work with families who have the subconscious belief that a minority or immigrant woman or a woman of lower socioeconomic standing is responsible for their dishes, laundry, meals, errands, home repairs, grocery shopping, toilets, sweeping, mopping, dusting, etc. I do not provide household management services.

In only one case has a parent ever demanded such things from me. A mother wrote it into the upcoming year's contract without discussing it with me, although I was very clear about my boundaries before I was ever offered a contract, prior to the birth of her son. Her reasoning was "but my friend's nannies do all these things." She also failed to discuss the decision with her husband, who also felt it was inappropriate and apologized profusely. Because I felt that she was attempting to take advantage of me, and devaluing the services I was providing, I declined to sign a new contract, and our working relationship was terminated after three years. Because I felt that she had been disrespectful and dishonest in refusing to discuss her decision with either her husband or myself, I also terminated our personal relationship. However, she continued to contact me periodically for the next two years, until I very directly told her I did not wish for any further communication.

In this instance, many of her "friend's nannies" were also very often being paid under the table, and generally had limited English proficiency and uncertain legal status. There are many ways such a combination of factors can lead to being taken advantage of, and leave a care provider feeling as though it is better not to advocate for oneself.

I am very firm about this. Along with legal pay, it is a thing that I absolutely do not compromise on. Many of the families I have worked with in the past (including this one) also employed a cleaning service on a weekly basis. I provide childcare, not home care.

I do not:

• Empty garbage, recycling, compost or diaper receptacles

• Change or wash linens or towels in bedrooms or bathrooms (if your child/ren have soiled their sheets during nap or in case of illness, or if I have bathed them during our time together, this does not apply)

• Child/ren or family laundry

• Sweeping, wiping, dusting or vacuuming of any surfaces that were not used during my time with your children (for example, if last nights popcorn is still on the table and floor in the living room, and we spent the day at the zoo or park, I will not be cleaning up the popcorn when we return. However, if we return home and lunch, and a mess is made on and under the table while we are eating, it is clearly my responsibility to see that it is cleaned up immediately after lunch. Any capable children will be encouraged and expected to help clean their spills and take their dishes to the sink for me to wash).

• Wash/put away dishes or pots that were not used in my care of your children, or wash children's dishes that were not used during my time there (your breakfast dishes or dirty pots, etc. from the previous evening). I will thoroughly wash and sanitize any infant feeding items that I personally use in the preparation and feeding of infant foods, formula or breast milk, or whenever the sanitizer is full.

• Prep/cook family meals (I prepare food exclusively for the children in my care, during my scheduled hours with them. For school aged children, if requested, I will supervise the packing of bag lunches for the next day, ensuring that they are nutritionally sound and providing some assistance with tasks that may be dangerous, such as chopping/slicing, use of the stove/oven or can openers).

• Empty litter boxes, pick up dog feces in the yard, clean fish tanks or bird cages (this obviously does not apply if you have engaged me to care for your pets while you are out of town, or if I take the dog on a walk with the children during our time together).

I do:

• Wash all plates, bowls, cutlery, pots, pans, etc. used during our day together. I enjoy cooking, baking and crafting with children 18 months and up, and this necessitates getting a few dishes dirty!

• Sweep and vacuum all surfaces where infants will play at the beginning and in the middle of each day. Infants will find the smallest things to taste and explore with their mouths, and I'd rather know exactly what they're eating! 

• Wash all toys that have been mouthed during an infant share on a daily basis, and all toys of a single child on a monthly basis, or as needed.

• Encourage toddlers and preschoolers sleeping in beds to make them neatly after nap (to the best of their abilities!).

• Provide fresh water to pets as needed throughout the day and let them into and out of a safely enclosed outdoor area, as per parent instruction and permission. I will also encourage children who are able to participate in the care of family pets, whether it is grooming, exercising or feeding with parental permission and direction.

• Maintain hygiene of children in my care by bathing, brushing teeth/wiping gums, trimming nails, combing or brushing hair, applying needed or requested ointments, creams and moisturizers and changing diapers and heavily soiled clothing as needed.

• Encourage toddlers and preschool aged children to be active participants in preparing meals and snacks and setting/clearing the eating space, thereby developing self-help, fine and gross motor and early maths skills, as well as exposure to an array of foods.

I am very firm, very clear and very upfront that my focus is the development, health, safety and happiness of the children for whom I am scheduled to care. "Job creep" can be rampant in many nanny-family relationships, and it is simply much more efficient that I know what a family's expectations are, and they know what mine are, before we sit down with a contract. This saves everyone frustration months later by avoiding scenarios in which expectations are not being met by one or both parties.

MARCH 05, 2018 EDIT: For more clarification (because maybe people will FINALLY start talking about this) please see this recent piece from Slate: Rethinking Work-Life Balance